Working with clients with eating disorders

Why do you work with eating disorders? As a therapist, I get asked this question all the time. I have come to learn that this question is not just one of genuine curiosity but more so “don’t you know how hard that is?” This is what I have come to learn about Eating Disorders and this is what I have as a response. Eating Disorders, in my opinion, are one of the most misunderstood mental illnesses. I have come to hate, yes hate, Eating Disorders with such a passion that it only drives me to work harder to learn about them, understand them, and help those that I work with understand them as well. I tell people that my job is to help people come to realize that they do not NEED an Eating Disorder. As long as an individual feels that they need their Eating Disorder as their strategy to cope, breathe, take care of, etc, symptoms of some sort will inevitably exist in their lives.

I describe Eating Disorders, in “lamen terms” as Bullies that are so mean, it is a constant put down session in someone’s head. A bully that plays on an insecure belief system. Imagine having to engage with the everyday struggles of life with a bully reminding you of your incapabilities, your flaws, your weaknesses, your past failures and everything that makes you the imperfect person that you are - I know..impossible right? Eventually, when that constant noise is so incessant, and the experiences in your life validate these beliefs, it becomes hard not to believe it. One of my clients recently asked me how long it took me to recover from my own Eating Disorder to which I responded, “I haven’t had an Eating Disorder”. She looked taken aback and I asked her what she was thinking. She asked me how I know Eating Disorders so well if I haven’t had one. This is where I feel privileged. I feel privileged to have been trusted by so many of my past and current clients to share their deepest struggles, to learn their current patterns of thinking, and to be a part of their journey to help them recover from their Eating Disorders. The more people I meet, the more I get to learn first hand how each individual person has a unique Eating Disorder. The more I learn and use attachment focused therapy and trauma informed practice, I am able to understand how and why an eating disorder exists in someone’s life.

Through this understanding I can then teach them about their attachment, how they see themselves, why they see themselves the way they do, and help them heal. And through this, I can help someone recover from their eating disorder.